5. Understanding and Changing Behavior

Related Reading

Activities are based on Chapter 5, “Understanding and Changing Behavior,” in Healing with Language.

The Conscious-Unconscious Connection

Habits are patterns of thought that operate below an individual’s level of conscious awareness. Recent research shows that the unconscious (subconscious, other-than-conscious) mind influences our behavior.

Left and Right Brains

In most people, the left and right hemispheres of the brain are the same size and look the same. Even so, the hemispheres display certain differences.

Secondary Gain

Although not everyone agrees that such a thing as secondary gain exists, the term has some use as a metaphor to help explain why people sometimes refuse to change a behavior that has negative consequences.

Process and Content

One of the most important discoveries of NLP is that it is easier to change the process of a behavior than it is to change the content. Convincing a person who has a snake phobia to feel relaxed, comfortable, and curious about snakes by increasing his or her exposure to snakes over time, is a long and painful process. Helping him or her change the structure of the subjective experience that leads to the phobic response is quick and easy.

1. What exactly is the unconscious mind? How do you know you have one?
2. What are some of the known differences between the left and right hemispheres of the brain? How does nonverbal communication indicate which hemisphere is processing information?
3. What (exactly) is secondary gain? Find one or more examples in your own behavior or that of someone you know well (no names are necessary) in which you or the other person persisted in an undesirable behavior because of a perceived secondary gain.

4. What is the difference between the “process” of a belief and the “content”?