For three years she had been struggling with the issue in of bleeding in her colon. The things that she had gone through — including transfusions to ease the horrific anemia exhaustion, hospitalization and IV antibiotics to fight infection, and weeks of daily sessions in that hyperbaric oxygen chamber (traumatic, with her claustrophobia) but nothing she had done had eradicated the risk of colon cancer.
Telling his nurse her guts were hostile, the surgeon finally agreed to do surgery. Heroic efforts for preparation followed months of scheduling delays, but the operating room had been booked for the entire day.
They made the early morning trip and she was as prepared as she thought she could be. Things did not go the way she expected. After administering the epidural, her hand went numb. The surgery was scrapped!
The risk of a cerebrovascular accident (stroke) had her admitted to ER and waiting hours for an MRI rather than going into pre-op, OR, post-op and having the surgery in her rear view mirror.
Three years of the stress. The following evening through a flood of tears she named the disappointment, worry, and fear to her good friend and wellness counselor. They had journeyed together for decades, and she finally broke down, saying, “I can’t go through this again. Maybe this is the time the Lord is going to take me. But I don’t want to leave my family.”
“You won’t leave your family,” her friend assured her, “we all leave our bodies, but we do not leave our loved ones.”
As they continued sharing her friend asked her at what age she had first been feeling disappointment, worry and fear. The light went on. She was six years old, and her mother was the patient — in that very hospital! She spoke with renewed faith in divine order, saying simply, “I couldn’t know what was happening. I couldn’t know what the future held. All I experienced was fear. Every time I walk in there I go back to her. Thank you so very much. I feel much better and hopeful.”
Reading from the Daily Word the following morning:
Trusting God I release attachments and rely on divine order.
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How many times have I realized in hindsight that my life is actually better because the situation didn’t work out the way I expected or I didn’t get what I thought I wanted?
These memories remind me of the importance of patience as I wait for divine order to unfold. Even if I’m tempted, I don’t get attached to rigid time frames or specific outcomes.
I get clear on my goals — healthy relationships, career satisfaction, more love in my life. I take these desires into prayer and spiritually surrender them. With a grateful heart, I release my desire for control, trusting the best outcome may be beyond my imagination.
My mind may be limited, but divine mind is limitless. I relax, release and trust divine order.
Psalm 119:18
Open my eyes so that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.
